I was at the Covenant House Crisis Center and I had opened the chapel for use by the kids. As I explored a bit I found a prayer book - in this book the kids can write prayers or prayer requests for Father Placid (or whoever else) to pray over. As I flipped through the book, here are some things that I read from various writers:
- I want to make it in life
- Please help me get my kids back
- Please help me. I'm lost and would like to be found
- Please pray for my family, we are in need of a home
- I'm lost and scared. I can't find myself. I don't know who I am any more. Everything is lies. Help me find myself please.
- Please Lord help me. I cry to you for help because I need help. Please hear my cries please.
As I read about the things these kids are going through and the types of things they were prayin for, I could only think one thing....I'm selfish.
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A journal of my experiences while volunteering at Covenant House New York
1 comment:
The words I tried to write, words of comfort, never came so instead I will write the truth and the the "reality" we live in, you and I is scewed, many of us are selfish. I was recently in Pittsburgh by myself to visit a friend and in the bright sunlight while I was eating a delicious breakfast I saw these bright white letters on a bumper sticker that said THAT A CHILD MUST DIE. When I left I had to see what the bumper sticker was and it said " Is it a poverty that a child must die, so that you may live how you want?" ~Mother Teresa. I know that I am selfish, I have felt it every day waying on me, worrying that I'm never doing enough, but I had to learn that God does have a plan and just because I'm not eating garbage and suffering as so many people on this earth do, I am doing something wrong, but I'm not. Many times I've thought about leaving all of you behind and going somewhere like India, Venezuala, Africa and helping the people there but something always stopped me. I thought it was the fear, the fear of death, because in places like that it's like taking a walk down the street, constant and common. But now that I no longer worry about death, I know it's something else, it's God, I am where I need to be, and I will go where ever he wants, you just have to ask where. It's like Mother Teresa says in her book which I started to read thanks to you, You must pray constantly, and He will speak to you and He will answer. You just have to ask. You just have to pray. You left your comfort zone, you went where He wanted you to, you are where you need to be in life just as I am, because there is a reason, many of us are sleeping, but not dreaming, which means we're not reaching deep enough into sleep, into ourselves and when we wake, we don't open our eyes enough to see the light. We have to help ourselves dream, we have to wake up and we will, we just have to let go of the notion that our lives are our own. Our lives belong to the universe and to everyone else living on this planet, because every single life effects all the others everywhere. We can't pretend anymore that we don't matter, that we don't affect anything or anyone, because that is the most selfish thought of all. Sending my love, inspiration and enthusiasm ~Kate
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